Fun with UNIX Commands

Unix is fun ! Unix is crazy ! I read some of these in the internet and tried crazy things with UNIX shells for fun. I'm sharing some of these with you here. This page will house silly things like these which bring on the lighter side of a system admin. You are open to share more of such stuff in the comments. All binpipers will appreciate it.

In the UNIX world '%' prompt denotes the C shell, and the '$' prompt denotes the Bourne shell right. Now I tried these crazy commands (which are all syntactically wrong) :) to get some funny results. Try them yourself, if you ever get hold of such shells when Unix'in .. Happy Piping ||.|.|

 % rm Women
rm:  Women nonexistent

% ar m Love
ar: Love does not exist

% scan for <<"Arnold Schwarzenegger"^J^D
"Arnold Schwarzenegger": << terminator not found

% How would you rate Osama's incompetence?
Unmatched '.

% ^How did the sex change^ operation go?
Modifier failed.

% If I had a ( for every $ WhiteHouse spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.

% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
% why not?
why: No match.

% sleep with me
bad character

% got a light?
No match.

% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.

% ^What is LSD?
Bad substitute.

% %blow
%blow: No such job.

% \(-
(-: Command not found.

$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!

$ drink matter
matter: cannot create

 These are some of those freakin' commands.

An UNIX MAN Page

I found a MAN page for a command called baby somewhere in the internet a long time back.

Though there is no such command but the person who compiled it has a good funny-bone...

Here is the man page extract.

BABY(1)                  USER COMMANDS                    BABY(1)
 
NAME
     BABY - create new process from two parent processes
 
SYNOPSIS
     BABY sex [ name ]
 
SYSTEM V SYNOPSIS
     /usr/5bin/BABY [ -sex ] [ -name ]
 
AVAILABILITY
     The System V version of this command is available with the Sys-
     tem  V  software  installation  option.  Refer to Installing
     SunOS 4.1 for information on how to install and invoke BABY.
 
DESCRIPTION
     BABY is initiated when one parent process polls another server
process through a socket connection (BSD) or through pipes in the
system V implementation. BABY runs at a low priority for approximately
40 weeks then terminates with heavy system load. Most systems require
constant monitering when BABY reaches it's final stages of execution.
 
        Older implentations of BABY required that the initiating
process not be present at the time of completion, In these versions
the initiating process is awakened and notified of the results upon
completion. Modern versions allow both parent processes to be active
during the final stages of BABY.
 
 
          example% BABY -sex m -name fred
 
OPTIONS
 
        -sex
          option indicating type of process created.
 
        -name
          process identification to be attaced to the new process.
 
RESULT
     Successful execution of the BABY(1) results in new process
     being created and named. Parent processes then typically
     broadcast messages to all other processes informing them of their
     new status in the system.
 
 
BUGS
     The SLEEP command may not work on either parent processes for some
     time afterward, as new BABY processes constantly send interrupts
     which must be handled by one or more parent.
 
     BABY processes upon being created may frequently dump
     in /tmp requireing /tmp to be cleaned out frequently by one
     of the parent processes.
 
     The original AT&T version was provided without instuctions
     regarding the created process, this remains in current implementations.
 
SEE ALSO
        cigars(6) dump(5) cry(3)
 
OTHER IMPLEMENTATIONS
 
        gnoops(1)
           FSF version of BABY where none of the authors will accept
           responsibility for anything.
 
NOTES
 
        baby -sex f -name Cathryn Leigh Beck
 
        completed sucessfully at the Grey Nuns Hospital on March 30 at
        9:59 P.M. after 5 hours of labour. New Mom Chenelle is doing
        fine, as is the baby, Dad is tickled pink. Both will probably
        come home sometime on Teusday. More information can be gotten
        from Dad by e-mail or when he brings his new little girl by to
        show her off (should be soon) Celebrations can probably begin
        in earnest after Dad catches up on all the work he couldn't do
        this weekend.
  
Sun Release 4.1    Last change: Just before I left the hospital last.